Throughout the arc of JT's life and along the short sweep of his time with us, he not only touched our hearts in personal ways, but also how his life intersected and in many cases impacted societal views of disability JT was a personal emissary of full community inclusion for individuals with disabilities.
I had the pleasure of first meeting JT and his family, Ann and Rud, Amy and Kate at his temporary home in Bethesda, MD while Ann and Rud were on sabbatical from KU. I was meeting with he and his family because for a very brief period of time, he was my student.
When I met with JT and his family, it was a warm summer night as we sat out on their deck right before the beginning of the school year, which, because JT had just turned 20, was to be his final year in high school. We met to discuss priorities for JT's school program, what the family's plans were for life after high school, and what skills we were to work on for that upcoming year. I might mention that the Turnbulls hosted us with some "entertainment" for the evening.
Now I don't remember if this was planned or spontaneous, but I do remember Kate and Amy singing and dancing (Amy, I believe you were the dancer; and Katie, a budding Broadway musical star). In reflecting on that meeting, it was my first inkling of JT's love of music and that the joy of music was not only integral to who he was as an individual, but reflected his love for his family. And as most of you know, strains of music, laughter and lively people have resonated throughout his life.
That year I collected plenty of data related to how JT progressed in terms of his skills needed to prepare him for his future (I believe he achieved 90% accuracy using a picture recipe to microwave macaroni and cheese). However, another critical goal for JT was to achieve the skill of "being cool and hanging out."
Because I was teaching in an innovative grant-funded program through the University of Maryland which was designed to move students with significant disabilities from segregated special schools into the mainstream of regular HS's, JT needed a few tips on how to carry his backpack (slung over one shoulder) and how to saunter down the hall. So he and one of the HS boys who helped out as a student aide in my classroom would "practice" walking cool and hanging out in the quad.
This turned out to be a highly desirable activity for all involved, because as many of you know, JT has always been surrounded by beautiful women, and therefore, it was a win-win situation – for JT and the guys who supported him.
What became apparent during this year was how JT influenced me as a teacher and as an individual. I entered teacher education right at the cusp of major changes in the field of special education; PL 94-142 (special education legislation that for the first time mandated public education for students with disabilities) had only passed a year or 2 before I went to college; and there were debates in the field regarding appropriate education for students with significant disabilities.
One of my first big efforts after getting students mainstreamed into classes was to figure out ways for my students to participate in school activities and clubs, including sports. Out of this, came the idea that JT would become a manager for the football team. At that time, WWHS was known for academic rather than gridiron success, but that didn't matter to JT.
His job as a football manager was to hand the players towels when they came off the field and he took this role very seriously. In fact, every single player who came off that field got a towel, whether they needed one or not.
Over the course of that season, JT went to away games on the bus with the team; he often ate with the players in the cafeteria; and at the end of the season, at the football banquet, JT received his football letter and jacket just like everyone else on the team.
These experiences impacted all of us in many ways. This was my first time moving outside of the comfort zone of my classroom and onto the football field. It required strong support of his family. Rud, I'm sure you well remember those cold Friday night games; and Amy & Kate, you must remember shopping for cool new clothes for JT.
And it took members of the HS football team (a group not usually considered as highly sensitive highschoolers) to support JT's success. It taught me the importance of making the effort, doing what I thought was right, and trusting that the community would be there to provide the safety net.
It also raised the bar for me in terms of my vision of was possible for individuals with disabilities. I learned I didn't have to be there 100% of the time to support a student; and that others from the community (yes, even football players) could provide equally valuable support.
I know for Ann and Rud it also helped them to see a different future for JT, one that focused on his full inclusion and participation in his community – doing what he liked best and not what we thought was best for him.
Finally, he made a difference by "paying it forward" to the young adults in HS that year. I particularly think about a young woman named Nikky – who went on to become a special education teacher. I remember hearing from her several years ago about how her experiences with JT and the other students in the class helped make that decision for her.
I even learned a little bit about KU Jayhawk spirit. I remember one fine morning in March when JT showed up in a t-shirt and hat with NCAA 1988 championship emblazoned upon it. Not knowing a single thing about what either NCAA or Jayhawks meant, I remember being puzzled by his appearance. It took me 2 years and only upon my arrival to KU to finally put that piece of the puzzle in place.
The transition to adult life in Lawrence for JT was often difficult and full of trial and error. In so many ways, he was forging new ground in terms of what it meant to be fully included in the adult community. He moved into his own home with the support of 2 KU students, Pat and Cory; young men who were also fraternity brothers.
They forged a friendship that expanded JT's network within the KU community. JT was initiated as a member of the SAE fraternity and regularly attended meetings and don't forget the parties. He started to branch out into his community, ever expanding his circle of inclusion.
When I look out into the church I am awed by the network of people here who were touched by JT; including my husband. He met JT on our 2nd date, at an event for advocates that included the late singer songwriter, Tom Hunter, debuting a song entitled, "It's Awesome to be Surrounded by People Who Aren't Sorry" – a song for and about JT, and as I recall, inspired by an observation made by Amy about JT's extensive circle of supports and friends. It's about providing the supports JT needed to be a full contributing member of his community.
From these years, while not always easy, I most remember the lesson we learned of allowing JT to lead us down the right road. We didn't always know how to pay attention to his passion for his life to be a certain way – until he made it loud and clear what he didn't like. In fact, the shift from being called Jay to JT was his idea and while it took some of us longer to remember to call him this, JT, however, made sure we wouldn't forget, correcting us every time we inadvertently used his "old name".
Clearly, when you were around JT, you could not just talk the talk; you had to walk the walk and he was the trailblazer creating that path.
As Nan Hunt, a long time friend of JT's wrote after she heard the sad news: "Jay lived in such a way that the message of his life was very clear. He did not rush or hurry… Jay was Jay and that was that. Either you accepted him or you didn't, either way made no difference to him. He had accepted himself and unconditionally loved those around him. The wonderful thing about Jay – he did not define his life through ownership of things or worldly success. He simply touched lives. He did not possess them, He touch them, accepted them and loved."
That very simple message of love and joy how to live your life with passion, Is one that I will try to hold onto in JT's honor.